dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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