Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
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