Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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