Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
