I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
