How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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