I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
