May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
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Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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