She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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