There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
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I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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