Have you finally orgasmed yet?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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