Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
