thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
