I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
