Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
