dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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