I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize