my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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