Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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