he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I pour the whiskey from now on
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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