Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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