i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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