Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
