Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
