We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
