i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Randomize
