yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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