don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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