My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
