he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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