dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
