so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
