addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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