I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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