Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
