Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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