I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
