My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
