Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
