Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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