i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
