Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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