So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
