I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize