i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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