HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
