The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
