At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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