Already got asked if we're dating
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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