fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize