just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
