A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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