you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
