do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
