im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Nicole vs. Life
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I wear drunk well.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
