Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
