I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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