What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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